Back home, There's a saying amongst 'our people', that people who have a special intuition about something are "gebore met die helm" (born with the helm). Apparently when a baby was born and the placenta was seen on its head (yes yes, a little graphic I know), the 'old people' believed that this gave that baby a special gift of a sight…beyond. Over the years, as we grew up, when someone said something that would 'come true' later…we'd joke and say he she was 'born with a helmet".:)
I honestly think all children are born with 'helmets'. They have a strong sense of something, an instinct, that seems to fade over time and with age, but can you argue that sometimes they just know things?
My littlest, is rather attached to her Mama. And yes, I AM okay with that. Even though I must say that it is good that she no longer cries to go to school in the morning. But this morning, when I got home from work, she was still in bed, and needed some more snuggling than usual. Clung a bit longer, and at school, for the first time in weeks, said "Mama, I want to go home."
I has been an intense few months. Lots of things have happened. We found out in August, that Daddy has prostate cancer. The prognosis is good, and he just underwent a surgical procedure for the Brachytherapy treatment last Friday. His blood pressure was dangerously high though, and this scared me. I have been gone for 13 years…almost 14. Somehow, I know intellectually that my parents have grown older. We see each other every few years, and we have all gotten used to the separation. Yet, I don't think they actually aged to me. Does that even make sense?! Some days, like several days recently, I wish very much that going home was easy. That I could pack everyone up, hop in the van, and a lot of gas and many miles and days later, we'd all be there, because someone would finally have built that bridge!
There are some things you don't know. You know….when you're all in love and starry-eyed.:) You know it intellectually, but haven't felt it with your heart, nor experienced it with all that is you.
How can you know how intensely you will love, how much you will hurt, or how much another's hurt will be as much a part of you as if it were your own? Some things, you don't know.
So Mummy and Daddy are 71 and 76 respectively. Not old by my standards, especially Mummy. I know I was supposed to leave and cleave (I had to go and take that one to the nth degree!), and yet I don't know if I got that one quite right.
What a jumble my thoughts are on this fall day.:)
The laundry pile is obviously larger than usual!lol #avoidance
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