Sunday night reflections

There's a lot on my mind tonight.

Lucky you.:)

I've been sitting here, planning meals for the week, updating the calendar, figuring out calendar adjustments, and doing a liiiiiittle bit of stewing.

Meals sorted out....challenging, because Miss G gets her braces on tomorrow morning (translate: we will be eating bread and water for a while....Kidding! not really...). So my meal planning for this first week of braces is kind of built around her, since I don't do multiple offerings for one meal.

After the first full week of activities and the new schedule, we got a call from the dance school, and they recommended a different class for G...a bit more challenging. So she will, along with 2 other girls be moving up a level, and that just messes up my very carefully planned out Tuesday.  So there's no easy way to do it, really, and it will take some figuring out, and hopefully we'll get it down.

We've all been a bit snotty this week, and hopefully, I'm seeing the back end of it, since  the go-to meds are not on the permitted list.
School is still going fine. Sophia has been a bit clingy when it comes to the goodbye part in the morning. Loves it once she's there, but I think she may just want me to be there... with her. "I just miss you Mama", was what she said, when I said 'but I thought you liked school'.
I really thought I was going to miss her, but apart from the tears on the first day, I have honestly been so busy, that I haven't even had time to think about it much.  So while it is strange to walk back by myself, I'm doing okay without my little buddy at home. I suppose it's a good thing.  And by the time things DO settle a bit, my new little girl will be keeping me busy. And no....she still doesn't have a name. Not even close.

As of this week, we'll be returning to life before Children's Hospital. I.e. My husband will be home in the evenings again.  I have to say, after a taste of it last week, I am really excited about having a little less to figure out, not having to do it all by myself. I am quite sure we're going to have a period of adjustment.... I've gotten so used to doing things solo, and we've had a routine, and now we're going to share the responsibilities, and let's face it.... things are going to change. :)
But it's a good thing.  So adjust, we will. The girls are so excited about Daddy being home. We have noticed that as they get older, they need him more. And I think it's a good thing for girls to have their daddies around at this stage. So yes, the next phase.

10 weeks from tomorrow morning, there will be someone new here. Wow.

I have again made a couple of changes to my connectedness (we'll see how long it lasts until I get frustrated!)- Facebook app:DELETED; pregnancy app which I obsessively check for updates: DELETED; Words with friends app (which really, it's a wonder anyone still plays with me since I haven't had time!): DELETED. Also I am excessively proud of myself for deleting the 700 emails in my mailbox this morning, and will try to better about checking that, now that I will no longer be able to obsessively check the other things.  CHANGE. IS. GOOD. :)

We've had to make a lot of changes over the past few years. I laugh when people use the phrase "don't judge me- you don't know my life", but you know, it's true!

So tonight, I'm thinking that I know that I have looked at a situation and made a judgement call. I have said to myself, that's not how I would do it. I have been unkind in my thinking. But guess what- I don't know (your) life.

The most important thing over the past several years, was 'making it'. Making it as a family with our hearts and minds intact. And I really think, that as compassionate as one can be, until you have walked in the shoes of another, you just cannot know where they are, and what it is to be them.

Everyone has a story. Not everyone is going to blog or tweet or  put a facebook status up about it. But for sure, there's more going on than meets the eye.

I wonder when we became so good, so absolutely right about life, that we can decide on the rightness of another. I wonder, if instead of fuming about the nonconformity of someone, we've prayed for them instead. And not prayed that they would see the error of their ways, but prayed that however it is that they have decided to, or have been forced to 'do life', prayed that God would remain in the midst of it all.
I wonder these things, because as I feel weighed and found wanting, I need to look at my heart, and wonder if there's something I can learn from this.  If the very things that can make us feel judged, are the things we  ourselves have done?

(And plus also...I'm so hormonal that I could really get nasty if I didn't choose to think this way in this very moment. :-/ )

So, I take this moment to thank you all for helping me process, and bid you all a good night, and an even better week.


Edit to add:  we now have a new blog name. :)